Thursday, July 29, 2010

Cyclops and Pink Fuzzy Trains

If you couldn't guess by now, I generally stay up late while soaking in random tidbits of information that has next to no realistic use in my life other than to keep neurons firing rapidly rather than dying; however, last night was a completely different beast. It all began last winter (wavy screen as we travel back in time) when I made a few appointments with a psychiatrist regarding my ADD. Long story short, many dollars later I realized the expense of the visits in addition to the cost of the medication (neither of which were covered by my insurance) and the lack of interest the doctor actually had in helping me (as opposed to his interest in "testing" different doses of this medication which had multiple undesirable side effects) I decided to return to my previous mental and emotional state of depression mixed with the inability to keep my mental train from derailing. During our visits I was given a prescription for Ambien, a sleep aid which makes people do crazy things while they sleep. I never took any of the Ambien, but rather tossed the bottle into the nightstand to gather dust.

Fast forward to last week. After multiple nights staying up late I decided to test some of the effects of the sleeping pill, can't hurt to try (famous last words). I planned my evening so I would take the pill with plenty of time for it to work out of my system completely before work the next day. Nine pm I pop the little salmon colored beauty and go start to brush my teeth, then I remember a song in my itunes that isn't on my phone that I wanted to listed to so I plug in my iPhone. While the music is transferring I check the shipping status of my new iPhone 4. Badda bing badda boom, it's 2:30 am and I now now how to get my RAM to overclock past the automatic settings. Score ADD-1 Ambien-0.

Two nights later I've set my mind on sleeping under the influence of prescription drugs. I brush my teeth early, make sure my alarm is set the next morning and I crawl into bed. Previously I had filled a water bottle so I wouldn't have the opportunity to get distracted while taking the pill. This little bottle also suggests taking 1-2 pills before bed, so tonight I pop two of the little guys and within minutes my lights are out. ADD-1 Ambien-1. I had an amazing night of rest for myself, even though Anna claims I was talking in my sleep. End of taking pills. I decide to use will power to get to bed rather than the drugs, problem is that I don't have much will power, so I quickly fall back into my late night habits.

Fast forward to last night. I decide to take a pair of pink pills around 9, go to brush my teeth, check that my alarms are set for the next morning (on my new iPhone), then I quickly download the application to get a free case for my phone, then... hours later I am completely intoxicated with the dreary effects of the sleep aid. All effects of the sleep aid except for one: I wasn't tired. My brain literally had conversations with itself to which I felt like I was a spectator watching. While trying to read a review regarding a book about people with one eye, the text on my screen kept dancing around so I wasn't able to finish more than one paragraph every 5 minutes. The advertisements on the sides of the website were talking to me, and I think I talked back to them! That's when I realized, I was some kind of stoned. I turned off the computer, turned off the lights and walked into the bedroom. The approach to my bed made me think about boarding one of the public transportation trains so my mind illustrated a train pulling up in front of me. Pink gumdrops and sugar crystals were what this train was made out of, but I already came to the realization that I couldn't believe anything I was seeing, I was drugged. So I crawled in bed to sleep off the rest of my psychosis. ADD-1 Ambien-1 Hallucinations-1.

I don't think I'll be flirting with my last scenario again.

1 comment:

  1. Eric, stay off the computer two hours before you go to bed. Let your brain relax. Read a hold-it-in-your-hands book while you relax in bed (after a warm shower and brushing your teeth and all that other bedtime stuff) and just let your brain gently shut down. Stay away from the electronics. Just a thought-- it wouldn't hurt to try it out. All that other stuff you've gone through sounds horrible.